forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
