laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
