I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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