i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
