He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
