shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
