No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize