I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
We had sex on a dog bed..
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
