Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
