he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Randomize
