Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize