Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
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