do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
