my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
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