Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
