OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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