Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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