Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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