i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I am one with the molecules
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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