i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
