I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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