its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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