Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
It's official drugs can't kill me
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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