you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
