I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
