Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
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