thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
you had me at cake vodka
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
