i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
