She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
