Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
