They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Randomize
