I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
