I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
