My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Randomize
