I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
