I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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