I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
