Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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