i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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