these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Randomize
