ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
