I faked an abortion last night.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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