oh god the rape fog is back!
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
