Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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