there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
