Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I skipped work to stalk him.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
