i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
