You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
