I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
