I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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