She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
