it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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