dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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