sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
