She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
