I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
