I think scott just propositioned me for sex
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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