dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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