So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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