Me. At least after what I've been through.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
