is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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