Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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