can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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