so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
