Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
